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Joined: 01 Aug 2001
Posts: 198

PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

It is very sad but true. Many marriages among Badagas are breaking and ending in divorce ‘buduchodhu’ .

A sacred institution that is meant to be for life is not even lasting for a few months. I heard the shocking story, recently, that the girl returned home the same evening of the wedding not for ‘marumanay’ but for good. She was forced by her parents and those of the groom’s when she refused to get married in the ‘first place’ that lot was at stake. Really sad !

What are the reasons?

One is surprised to see so many nice looking, educated and employed boys and girls among Badagas ready for marriage but hesitate to tie the knots since they not sure for how long the sacred marriage would last?

Is it the ‘old mind set’ of the boys and their parents that the ‘wife – hendaru or daughter in law – sosay’ is expected to be only a second class citizen bringing water, cleaning the hose, cooking and bearing children even if educated?

Shockingly, it appears, the BPO driven ‘night shift’ boys, cannot carryout the fundamental principal of a marriage [that proclaims that a marriage is nothing but a public announcement of a private affair] and suffer from erectile dysfunctions and sexual deficiencies and thus cannot face their partners. Then they blame it all on the girl when they are grilled by his parents and relatives with the typical but crude Badaga sense of outrage, ‘ Ennu basaru aapillay’ya? – has she not become pregnant yet??’

Are the educated and employed girls not ready to share and enjoy life but live in a false world that they are ‘more’ than equal in most respects and forget the adage that the fundamental requirement for a successful marriage is nothing but 'adjustment'? Do they feel 'being single is better than being singled out for failures'??

Seeking a non – Badaga partner seems to be a fashion and passion without differntiating between love and infatuation.

Where is the problem, really?

Are we, the elders, with blinkers firmly in place, not seeing the truth in a broader perspective? Are we contributing to the cause in a negative way and condemning our great community to a curse??

Wg Cdr JP -
, http://www.baduga.in , www.badaga.name
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Joined: 31 Dec 1998
Posts: 131

PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top


I draw your kind attention to "Chanakya niti" -of Where in Chanakya says, what kind of women , health and social status a man should select. Occasionally Chanakya seems to be placed his verses on one side of the gender, nevertheless, he seems to be driving home the point in multitude of dimensions.

Thirukural also talks about quality of Husband & Wives and their duties.

Apart from these masterpiece writings, in the "developed" world where we live today, when health has taken backseat due to vanishing cows, and large scale dis taste for working in one's own tea gardens , & "Kumbh Ola" [ vegetable - Kitchen garden ] when we go in search of employment, forgetting one is one's own employee and employer, what is last is health.

" The health is wealth " saying is perhaps be rephrased " as wealth is health".

That's the root cause of all problems of the "Modern" day issues between couples.

It is wiser both the boys and girls resort to full medical check up before they tie knot so that so they don't have to untangle the knot.

At this point a joke comes to mind on health. A man asked God, what is that surprises you about the mankind you created. Pat came the reply from the God....... " A man looses all is health to gain wealth.. When he realises, his health is so bad- he looses all his wealth to regain the lost health.. He lives as if he never dies and dies as if he never lived.


Devarajan Mathan-
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